personally, i think i am ;;


been offline in DA for eons and eons and eons and eons and eons and eons and eons and eons and eons and eons and eons and eons and eons and eons and eons and eons and... you know the score

just wanted to say: to ppl i love (hmm.)
to friends

meet me : [link]

because i won't be around here no more...i think

i feel dead.
ha.

well..
that kinda sums it up; .
I broke up with J, after almost 4 months of "too obvious" dating..i mean, everyone knew including even the freshmans and our grade ppl ...
anyways.

I fucking miss him. still.

But I found someone else.

This is him:

He's C, and he smokes and likes being independant.

You know, the kidna guy who doesn't care if you don't talk to him or say hi to him,
he doesn't care being alone.

In fact, he usually enjoys it, and hates group activities.

He had to have nose surgery back in middle school because he fought with a classmate
and got his nose crooked...
he told me that jokingly, as if it doesnt matter his nose got lower becuase of some psycho dude in his class who just punched him without warning;

He's the most 'guy-ish' guy I've ever seen,...
you know every man has at least a bit of girliness in him?
C dont really have that trait;...
It's like he's a guy all over, lolz

He misses school and after school work things often,
he usually just ignores things like make-up work, he don't care if the teachers give him hell as long as if mother don't throw a bitchfit on him

He's really really nice to girls, despite not looking like someone with manners..
like, he'd run off somewhere and buy you an umbrella if it's raining an you dont have one..
he doesnt care if he gets drenched, he'd just ask you if you gt a cold or smt.

He loves coffee, and i usually hang out with him in Pascucci, Starbcuks, Coffeebean... but never Smoothy King, lolz.

He's got a pretty good voice despite his smoking.

He loves sleeping........... he adores sleeping, lolz...

That sums C up.

Think I should go for it?

I mean, i like him.

; maybe this only applies to Korean guys, but then, whatever
read it just for fun


- dont accuse him when he drools over pretty girls

believe me, unless u feel ur the most beautiful girl in the world ( i doubt many people feel that), stop saying shit when a guy compliments someone pretty

in fact, i even agree, i mean its true when someone's pretty and all; doesnt really matter whether guys think someone's pretty or not.
at least, i dont care, if he's not the type of person to only like girls for their looks;

- stop 'making', no, like forcing him do things for you

i know some girls around me who tend to do this.. and some of the less intelligent guys submit to it; i dont know, but its kinda unnerving when you see this couple, and the guy's constantly being the girl's 'slave'; or vice versa. like, she tells him she wants cake, and the guy runs over to the bakery when he's supposed to be in class;..

or, some couples i know break up cuz one of them's too demanding of the other.
like, the guy makes the girl do stuff for him, run around and pay for him and etc.
or the girl kinda goes, " i mean, ur a guy, shouldn't you be like, holding all my bags for me and taking off ur gloves and giving them to me? "

the guy will do stuff for you by his own freakin will if you stop being so demanding and actually do something for him yourself.

-stop making those sexist kinda assuming

like when the guy goes, "act more like a girl for god's sake" (oh how i hate those words.. lolz) or when the girl goes "you're a frickin guy, you cant even do that?? " (a lot of guy-friends i have are annoyed when someone does that; its so assuming;..)

i mean, its nice to be pampered once a while, but treating each other by the most stereotypical image of a guy and girl; er. 18th century-like?

-don't cry in front of him unless you really, really cant help it

it makes the guy uncomfortable, and if you have at least the minimal amount of consideration for him, you'd rather swallow that worth-crying-about problem alone rather them weigh him down with all your troubles.

either, listen to his problems and help him or just casually, 'casually' talk about the problems you've been having

he'd pay back by doing the same thing, by himself, not because you were sprouting all over the place in the first place

- dont blab his secrets to your girlfriends

girls tend to do this sometimes, for kicks, cuz you have to admit its fun talking about someone's secrets, especially if it doesnt seem that secret

he might even hate you for that; (i know a long-time guy girl friendship breaking up because of this; the girl blabbed and the guy raised hell;; he also did the same thing after;; both kinda didnt want to apologize, and they dont even talk anymore)

or rather, he'll not talk abt his secrets to you anymore, you make urself like you cant be trusted anymore





this was just for fun, maybe not even true as a whole, but its true for the ppl around me
hope i didnt bore you with all the talk

my wishbone's broken.

you know, when you have this sort of a wish, you still have hope,
until you see the results?

then you despair.

well.

i hav just a tiny, weeny problem I have to confess.

nothing much, realli.

whenever I feel stressed, or depressed, I scratch myself harshly on my left arm,
no cutting or slitting, mind you,

but it's still disturbing cuz afterwards, i get these tiny spots of red welt come up on my skin,

which means the blood cells inside there popped or smt, that's wat my friend says;..

well, yep. how can I solve this?

oh, by the way, tell me if anyone finds an antidote for thinking too much